If you want to experience a deeply meaningful relationship, then you have to take the time to learn about each other. You have to take a deep interest, and truly relate to one and other.
So, you discover each other’s interests, values and beliefs. And you make an effort to understand each other’s personality and character. By engaging with each other with empathy, you begin to truly know each other.
The process of developing this deeper knowing can take you beyond the surface level. It allows you to understand how you are compatible. And the more compatibility you discover with each other’s interests, values and beliefs — the more you will feel at ease, and the deeper the connection can go.
But you have to be authentic with each other during this process. You can’t truly get to know each other if you are hiding behind pretences and being disingenuous. You don’t need to reveal everything about yourself, but it does help if you present your genuine self.
And you won’t be able to trick your inner feelings by overly contorting yourself and pretending that you are compatible. For example, if you realise your partner’s values and beliefs are very different to your own, then, no matter how much you try to ignore these differences, you’ll find it difficult to feel completely comfortable.
Surface level attractions such as beauty, wealth, talent or charm are natural and appealing. But if deeper levels of meaning and connection are not discovered, there will be little to build upon. And the relationship may struggle to develop beyond the superficial.
You have to pay attention to your observations and your feelings; otherwise, you may end up deluding yourself. You may end up idealising the relationship by overly focusing on the surface level attributes. So, you might come up with all sorts of justifications to convince yourself to stay in the relationship. For example, “He’s rich.” “She’s beautiful.” “He’s funny.” “She’s talented.”
A lot of people stay in relationships because of convenience. For example, it’s convenient because it provides them with a sense of status; because it provides them with security; because it satisfies their cravings for attention; because they get their carnal desires satisfied etc.
You have to understand that many people are too focused on their own needs, their own career, their own desires or their own weaknesses to actually have the capacity to deeply relate to someone else.
You also have to be aware that many people are strongly influenced by conformity and social programming. And there is a lot of mainstream nonsense out there about relationships — and most of it is based on glamour, vanity and conceit. It’s superficial and it can be very misleading.
It is normal to think of reasons to stay in a relationship, but if you are looking for deep meaningful connection, you have to see if you can get beyond the surface level.
And perhaps you will have to ask yourself, are you ready?
Because if you want to experience a deeply meaningful relationship, you have to honour the depth within yourself. You have to be on a path where you have some understanding about what is truly meaningful and valuable to you. No one can provide this for you — you have to know yourself.
And then you will want to meet someone who is on a similar path. Someone who is willing to honour the depth within you, and also understands their own depth. Someone who you can connect with deeply. And that will rule out many people in this world — because many people function at a level of superficiality.
You will feel most comfortable being in a relationship with a partner who is attracted to, and honours, the real you. A relationship where you are able to truly recognise and deeply understand one and other. Where you feel aligned and in resonance with each other.
The person you choose to be in a relationship with becomes your primary influence in life.
Choose wisely!
If you discover deep levels of connection, then you can experience a mutual understanding of each other’s needs. From this understanding; practical and empathic support can organically flourish for each other. By sharing and relating with each other honestly and intimately, you can grow and develop. You can expand the goodness within each other.
And this deep connection can quite quickly extend beyond the mind, and enter into the ineffable terrain of the heart. You will not need to convince yourself when it happens, you will just know.
But you may then find yourself feeling very vulnerable.
Trust your heart and follow it is the best advice I can give. But it’s totally cool to take your time, and a person who cares about you will respect this.
The nature of the heart chakra is mystical, and often the heart feelings between two people expand in synchrony. But sometimes one person may need more time to catch up.
However, sometimes the feelings do not become reciprocated. Houston, we have a problem!
You see, not everyone you form a deep connection with will be ready or willing to go to the depths of the heart with you.
When two people experience a deep connection and resonance for each other in their hearts — they will recognise each other at the level of spirit. It is a deep inner knowing, beyond words.
They can then align with each other and join forces to pursue a greater purpose.
If this happens, a transcendent feeling will arise, allowing them to surrender into a profound and sacred connection.
© Adrian Connock
