There are many different emotional quandaries we can find ourselves in. The tips below are some general guidelines that can help you to navigate your way through and process emotions. Perhaps not everything here will be relevant to your process, but just go with what works for you.
PART ONE:
- Get yourself into a state of relaxation and clear your mind as best you can.
- Acknowledge that your emotions are part of your inner guidance system. And acknowledge that you are open to understanding your emotions and learning from them.
- Then tune into an emotion you’ve been feeling. And begin a process of self-inquiry.
- What caused the emotion? Go through any memories that you feel are attached to the emotion.
- And notice any thoughts, opinions, or stories that begin to arise in your mind. Try to step back and simply observe your reactions — just allow them to play out, and observe.
- Then try to unpack the connection between your emotions, and your thoughts and beliefs.
- What is the equation? For example, maybe someone was unkind to you, and you feel sad. Or perhaps someone betrayed you, and you feel resentment. Or perhaps you acted in a certain way and you feel guilt.
- And then try to explore why you had the emotional reaction. For example, why were you offended? Why did you feel betrayed? Why were you upset with yourself?
- For example, was your safety put at risk? Was your sense of control compromised? Were your desires unfulfilled? Were your opinions contradicted? Did your own behaviour fall short of your personal expectations? Look to unravel what exactly is driving your emotional reaction.
- And then acknowledge to yourself that you want to move beyond the pain, and beyond these emotions. Affirm to yourself that you want to be free from the weight of these emotions.
PART TWO: - What could you do to help yourself? For example, what would make you feel safer? What would help you to move on? What would help you to feel better about yourself?
- Can you set healthy boundaries with people? Can you focus your attention on improving your life and moving forward? Can you make amends for your actions? What do you feel will help you?
- And what could you do to bring a sense of closure to these emotions? For example, can you accept what happened and let it be? Can you forgive others? Can you forgive yourself?
- Are there specific areas of your life that you feel are inadequate? Are there specific aspects of yourself that you feel are vulnerable? How can you help yourself? And could you lessen your desires, so you’re not as prone to disappointment? Could you lower your expectations of yourself in some regards?
- And what have you learned from your experience? How are you committed to change? And given your new found wisdom, can you now find peace and release the emotions?
- Can you recognise how your emotions are showing you what you value in life? For example, if you value kindness, trust and integrity — then you can affirm that this is what you want. And you can look for ways to experience more of these values in your life and in your relationships.
After you feel you have explored your emotions sufficiently, take some notes about any realisations you had. And in particular, acknowledge any changes that you intend to commit to. Make some plans, and then take the appropriate action.
Once you understand the roots of emotions that are troubling you, and you’ve determined what can be done about them, and you’ve taken any potentially beneficial actions — it’s then time to move through to the other side and release them.
When you have compassion for someone, you want them to be happy and fulfilled. Processing your emotions is about having compassion for yourself. It’s about releasing yourself from suffering, and moving forward with dignity.
You may also find these articles helpful:
Common Emotional Cycles & How To Go Beyond
© Adrian Connock
