If you can’t let go of fears about a person ripping you off, cheating you, exploiting you, rejecting you or abandoning you — then you are going to struggle to trust them.

But are your suspicions based on any evidence? Maybe you do have genuine reasons to not trust certain people, but prejudices can be irrational.

For example, you can’t distrust every good-looking guy just because two good-looking guys in a row let you down and cheated on you. And that’s one pitfall people can fall into — they judge people solely based on their experience with other people of a similar demographic. But that’s not rational. And if you get into that frame of mind, your distrust can hinder your chances of meeting someone who won’t let you down.

Another factor in the trust equation is that people often suspect other people of having certain traits, solely because they have certain traits. For example, if a person is dishonest, they may suspect other people of being dishonest simply because they would be dishonest in the same situation. So, you have to look at whether you are projecting your own traits onto someone else and are therefore judging them inappropriately.

Another way mistrust forms, is through the ways we have been conditioned to perceive distinctions people have. For example, just because someone is wearing a designer suit doesn’t necessarily mean they have certain characteristics you may associate with these clothes. And just because someone is wearing ripped jeans and a hoody, doesn’t necessarily mean they have certain characteristics you may associate with these clothes.

There was a social experiment done some years ago. A person working for the experiment, dressed up in clothes typical for a homeless person, walked through a busy town centre, pretended to have a heart attack and collapsed to the ground. Despite his continued groans, dozens of people walked past this man, some of them even stepped over him, and it wasn’t for about ten minutes that someone knelt down to see if the man was alright.

Then the researchers performed a twist on the experiment. They dressed the man up in an expensive suit to resemble a smart professional businessman, and he proceeded with the same routine. But, this time, when the man collapsed, several people came to his aid within seconds. Prejudices can lead people to be very discriminatory.

There are of course some dodgy characters out there. But unless you really have solid reasons to distrust people, it is best to approach them without suspicion and doubt, and just be reasonable, and see how things develop.

Trusting people can make you feel vulnerable, but it also opens you to flow. It helps you go beyond the constraints of suspicion and distrust.

And the thing about trusting someone, is that many people are so used to being distrusted, that they actually really appreciate it when they are trusted.

By trusting someone, you are giving them responsibility — and this can boost a person’s morale and help them to feel more at ease, capable and competent.

And without the unease of distrust and suspicion, relations then tend to flow more harmoniously.